December 04, 2013

The Brief Moments Wherein I Might Have Loved You

We became fast friends in one night and as I lay completely clothed between you and our mutual best friend I drunkenly dreamt, “ I could love him.”

I arranged for us to meet to play arcade games once a week. You taught me to shoot deer and as I cocked the plastic gun with one hand I glared, “I could love him.”

We drank into the wee hours of the morning until I fell on your bed and you ran around town with the clink of spray paint and laughter. Though the drunken mistiness I pondered, “I could love him.”

We rolled naked in sheets and thought no one would know that when I looked at you across the kitchen every cell was smiling, “I could love him.”

Adventure after adventure we fell into a common companionship, when I looked you were there, when I needed you were there and when I laughed you were there, but I never let myself love you completely. The arm’s length that I kept you at then pushed you further into, onto someone else stretched us too far. And now I love you and it’s too late.