April 10, 2006
Everything is so fleeting. I find myself lying here clinging to what remains of my spring break. Clinging to the minutes as I watch my last hour of solace, of freedom wipe away in the indigo of his clock. Lying here in and out of dreams. I had woken up every hour throughout last night to make sure I didn’t miss my teeth cleaning in the morning as if my sub-conscience felt his alarm would not function the one day I needed it. I made it to the appointment and had to wait over half an hour and has the women raped my gums all I could think of was getting back into the warm boyness that is his bed for one more hour of my vacation. As my final hour came to a close I lied in his bed listening to his heavy breathing thinking how much I wanted to stay and keep hiding there in the sweltering heat that I had grown so accustomed to during my vacation. Spending days and nights wrapped in blankets, in arms hiding from the world, hiding form school and papers that needed to be written. My life had been put on hold more almost a week and a half and there I was holding onto minutes and seconds as they ticked by in ultra-blue. My countdown until summer reads 42 days and yet I still feel as if the semester never started. Everything is so fleeting, childhood, love, life and here I am holding onto to minutes, tears and hands.