August 14, 2006
If my heart still hurts tomorrow at least ill know I’m alive
I wasn’t going to write today, I thought it too soon and too many thoughts were intermingling with the sloshing of the tears but then I came up with the title. I’ll have to admit I had to read around to get some inspiration and there it was hidden in this vast electronic sea of knowledge and nothing, where I spent most of my days and nights until I had found the ultimate distraction, love, excuse me amor for I as close as it got at the end there I still shuddered at the thought of saying those words first. He left today and I thought of that, I had replayed it in my mind so many times that those words would be the last thing I would say to him before he left and his voice became always a phone call away rather then a something I would awake to daily. You’ll have to excuse my ramblings as I did warn I wasn’t going to write today. I’ll brief you now I guess, my throat: dry, lumped; my eyes: wet and stinging but not full of tears; my lips: chapped and utterly lonely; and my heart: creaking within its chambers, pushing at the seams and scars left from so may previous breaks, but not shattering as it is accustomed to, for this ending was far from malicious and the segment on a whole was always more then pleasant. Its funny you know they all move away and here I am left chasing my dreams and picking up the pieces of my heart he didn’t mean to break.