My mind spills over with quotes and thoughts, words and phrases play incessantly and yet I cannot, no, I have not had the will, the ultimate inspiration, to sit and write. In the past heartache had brought so much inspiration and now since my attempt to flip the script and be inspired by happiness, I am left scriptless. I run instead of write, the need for physical heart health and mind numbness outweigh the need for spiritual heart health and thoughtfulness.
The rain finally came and that’s when I find the running most peaceful, bad music fills my head leaving little room for any other thoughts and my sweat mixes with the fresh waters of the rain. When I’m running everything else aches, thus taking the pressure of said heart.
He calls and asks if I will run with him, can I give him part of this sanctuary? He has taken everything else, even this running only began as a way to impress him. Now he impresses me with his ability to compartmentalize our love and lie to my tear soaked face.
I say I’ll let go, I say these incredulous infidelities will break what’s left of us, I say enough is enough. When in reality I will never let go, I will endure these falsities and enough will never be enough.