July 15, 2013
The Same, More of Exactly the Same
You don’t get to come in here anymore, in fact you should have never been here to begin with, but you pushed in, opened doors with your smile and sweet, albeit few words. I was transfixed and fell under your spell, quickly. You had to have known, had to have seen as I fell, floated beneath you. Everyone said don’t go, it’s slippery down there but I went and I slid and slipped and now, now your smile still transfixes me in a way that makes me cry when I get home. Along the way I lost my power and as I grapple to climb out of this muck, every time I hear from you I fall a little deeper. Sinking slowly into the quicksand of unrequited like. I try to stand on the shoulders of others that mean little to nothing just to feel closer to you. I’m sure you don’t notice, you shouldn’t, for I am not alone in this quest. I am not the first and will certainly not be the last in this abyss of warm memories that you have all but forgotten. I think back to a time where you rested your head on my stomach or stroked my leg as I packed to leave you in the early city fog. You broke me, broke into the chasm that I had kept locked so tightly. I had no intention of any of this to occur and here I use the same words to describe the same thing I said I would forgo weeks ago. Here the very same meanings are mixed and jumbled to describe the simplest of things; mild heartbreak. As if such a thing as heartbreak could ever be mild.