September 11, 2005
My heart was hurting, where had I gone? I was hiding from you, hiding from me. I never had a boyfriend I didn’t cheat on and I never had a boyfriend that I didn’t fall in love with. This is some kind of sick pattern im sure. Sometimes I couldn’t believe myself sometimes I hate myself but mostly I wish there was another one of me so we could hangout and and ruin our lives together and laugh and spin all day. I like to listen to the sounds of our house, here, I sometimes whisper inside my head so that I can be quiet enough to hear everything. Sometimes im the sounds of our house and then I don’t listen and my voice inside my head screams so theres no possible way I can hear me. Right now I can hear a plane it sounds like the earth is roaring. I would roar if I was the earth but then again if I was the earth I probably would have given up on us a long time ago. A friend and I were discussing how my roommates girl friend is rather weary of me and then my friend said “well I wouldn’t want you living with my boyfriend,” I realized I agree, im pretty much evil and a boy friend stealer in my own right. The pictures of him were beautiful anyway hopefully so is he, so is he.