October 26, 2005
I smiled for you during a Lunesta commercial. You never wrote back last time I said some media bullshit reminded me of you so I wont bother this time. I smiled because of the way the sleeping pills made you passive but at the same time the gloriousness of your bed, of the film, of the situation that engulfed us. I can still see myself there lying in your bed looking at pictures of your girlfriend. The cynic in me smiling knowing the brevity of our relationship and the unfathomable tolls it would take if anyone found out. Your smile, your sickening smile, how I gave you my playmate pickup look from across the room, and how it worked. The sleeping pills made you think I was a reptile, a purple reptile and I didn’t care I wanted to be held and touched by your recently shaven tattooed arms. Just to say I had been there in this infamous bed, the bed in which you have bedded many a girl just like myself who just wanted to be held by the ink that held you. I see your face sometimes burned into my retina, I think of how amazingly comfortable your bed is often and how I would jeopardize all that is good for me now for another completely wrong night with you in your comfortable bed and your sickening smile.