January 06, 2006
As I stare out the window the world has become upside down just like the way I feel. The stars are on the ground, the lights that light the cities look like stars and I feel like the contents of an emptied purse, scattered, torn and broken. Holding on to everything that has let me go and let me down and running from anyone with open arms. I can see my faults they are plain as a vanilla milkshake, my cuts do not heal and I feel sinister and not holy at all. I want to run away on roller skates and never return to anything familiar. I’ve been reading books about drug addicts and I feel like I’m coming down off their drugs so slowly and so slowly. I find myself writing the way I dance, in the car when I choreograph to songs on the radio that I don’t know the words to, I use repetition for emphasis for memory logging as my memory comes and goes I can only imagine those watching, those reading need the repetition as much as I feel I do.