February 14, 2006
the relativity of it all
Just the word happiness makes me laugh, my eyebrows raise and I laugh. All things are relative, happiness being the first and foremost in the line-up of relativity. My problem is constantly banking my happiness on others; he will make me happy, living here with them will make me happy, getting rid of him will make me happy, moving away from here will make me happy. None of these things work and so I must look to the constant; me, I am the unchanged variable in this experiment that is life. So again looking to myself for relative happiness is my only solution, but instead I have placed this boy in that spot to fill the void that is endless, that can not be filled with anything, not buckets of sadness, moving boxes or an ocean of dreams and certainly not artificial happiness milled by a white coated individual. So I’ll skip to my room a Playboy tucked under each arm to find something relative: beauty.