May 05, 2006
where darkness hides longing
It was a sweet familiarity to drive in a fast white foreign car with the heater on and the windows down. The speakers were blown out but somehow still full of bay area rap beats. The smoke of swisher sweets filling the air, my lungs, the smell resounding through the beats. I must have been smiling, as this had formerly been my favorite pastime with him. The first night that he and I drove fast, so long ago, dodging cars with the heater on was the most new and amazing experience that at the time I thought I would write a movie about him and this driving. Now our relationship is over these are the times I miss the most, walking down the street holding his hand was comfortable, the words exchanged were warming. And the days to follow will be empty of him, while others will come to fill his void, he will be remembered fondly like a deep scar, for this wound has healed.