May 05, 2006

where darkness hides longing

It was a sweet familiarity to drive in a fast white foreign car with the heater on and the windows down. The speakers were blown out but somehow still full of bay area rap beats. The smoke of swisher sweets filling the air, my lungs, the smell resounding through the beats. I must have been smiling, as this had formerly been my favorite pastime with him. The first night that he and I drove fast, so long ago, dodging cars with the heater on was the most new and amazing experience that at the time I thought I would write a movie about him and this driving. Now our relationship is over these are the times I miss the most, walking down the street holding his hand was comfortable, the words exchanged were warming. And the days to follow will be empty of him, while others will come to fill his void, he will be remembered fondly like a deep scar, for this wound has healed.


Doug said...

I know this is the wrong point to fixate on but Swisher Sweets? Ick.

Anonymous said...

You have the two most emotionally challenged people trying to help you. Tragic.

I love your blog and your thoughts and your deep, deep feelings.

So tragic, people who don't have feelings.

Rio said...

doug. yeah they are gross but the smell has its own memory bank for me which is awful. armani colonge aqua di gio has much worse memories attached however to the point i must run or cross the street.

anonymous. i dont know who you are and i appreciate the support however alice and doug are the only people who comment and always have commented on my blog, they are my only avid readers and i am more then glad to have them here. and arent we all emotionally challenged? thats pretty much what my whole blog is about if you didnt get it.

Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

omg, how did this person know i was emotionally challenged.