December 27, 2009

Something Old, Something New, Something Real, Something True

And so we meet again, I try to regain my composure as the wave of panic comes over me. You try to regain your ability to stand and ask me to take you home. I feel alone as we sleep in the same bed. You’re different now, you snore. I’m different now, I try to be indifferent now. Keeping it easy with the cautious bachelor, shaking things up as I learn to be alone. I don’t think I could hurt you anymore and yet I try to keep my heart concealed as to not disrupt my lessons of solitude that seem to add a glow and smile to my face. As I huddle to you in the dark for warmth, I know you will be cold in the morning. We laugh as our visit comes to a close. Another confusing rendezvous as I try to keep my obsessions loose.

Now for something real and less poetic:
I turn 25 on Thursday. I just broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years because it didn’t feel like he was in love with me, we were best friends but that is where it ended. Such a romantic as myself needs much more. I just moved home to live with my parents and find a job in my hometown. I anticipate much more on the subject of old crushes and hopefully some new ones, all while trying to find myself as a happy independent girl.

I’m tired of carrying torches but I need some way to see in the dark.


Doug said...

Well, may the hunt take you to a cool forest. Happy Birthday.

Cooper said...

I suspect that though most of us desire more when it comes to life long partners if we don't end up with a best friend that is when true misery begins - it is just that sometimes we call this true misery romantic love.

Cooper said...

Oh, and happy almost birthday Rio.

Bathwater said...

I wouldn't say you are in the dark, you are emerging into a new breeze. Let it blow out the touches.

I like hearing a bit more of the real, helps me put some place and time on things. Happy Birthday Girl.