November 16, 2005
So I went down to San Diego. I was chasing a dream, an old dream and went down there just to see if my dream was still dreaming of me, I guess. Well I wouldn’t go so far as to say he was dreaming about me but he was hospitable and let me stay with him. At first I thought it was for the blowjobs but even that novelty quickly wore off for him. It broke my heart to be there. Not just because of him but to drive the lovely highways reminded me of how terribly lonely I was when I lived there. It’s a beautiful place and I was just bidding my time. Being there with the dream really made me contemplate the choices I had made, especially the one when I told him I couldn’t live there with him. After this weekend I wanted to stay there with him forever, did I make a mistake? Maybe…probably…I don’t know. School sucks I have a test today and a paper due I haven’t studied or started the paper, instead I’m writing a meaningless blog. Better notes on my trip: I got to see some old friends for pie and a spa treatment, this was wonderful but again made me want to stay, did I make a mistake moving? Maybe…probably…I don’t now. Funny story: I went to take a shower at the dream’s house and he got into the shower to remove something, I was very confused, thinking what could he be removing? And then he showed me “I better throw this away.” Smiling. I asked him what is it? He said a condom and walked out. Well I got in the shower and started freaking out cause he said he hadn’t had sex with anyone in his bed so who the hell did he have sex with in shower? I was freaking out the rest of the day and he kept asking what was wrong with me, when I finally brought it up. He said it was ours and he put it in there so when my friends came over it wouldn’t be on the top of the trash. Boy did I feel stupid. Anyway that’s my trip in a nutshell. Oh and I bought some red cowboy boots.